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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Cooper

Don't be a a Janay

So what'a drama that is almost never ending? Is it the battle of the ex's? Or how about the battle of women whom want to steal your relationship with your man because she's jealous? Or because she's lonely? Or how about the woman who doesn't really know what she wants, so she tries to string guys know like men do women.

If you have done this one or any of these scenarios, that would make you a Melaine. For those who are at a loss of what I'm referring to, I'm using relationship examples while referring to the tv show "The Game." Now Melaine doesn't start off bad at all. When the show began she was the girlfriend of a rookie football player who had moved cross-country to support him while she attended medical school. She was also introduced to the world of being a football player's girlfriend.


boyfriend was Derwin. He was also adjusting to being a professional athlete. Not only was he in a different world, but he was trying to adjust to the many temptations that came with. being a professional athlete. Derwin was offered a guest appearance on a music video with singer Drew Sidora. There was an instant chemistry between the two. Derwin wasn't happy with how things were going with Melaine. He had proposed, but she wanted to wait until she was done with school before getting married. She also had stopped being supportive when Derwin needed her to be, so she could focus on school. All of this led to Derwin cheating on Melaine by sleeping with Drew Sidora.

When Melaine found out (she overheard it when Derwin's publicist was threatening to blackmail him), she was devastated. She had given up her family, friends, and a scholarship to study at John Hopkin's to be with and support Derwin. Derwin tried to reconcile, but Melaine got her own payback by sleeping with a college friend of hers who happen to be a football rival of Derwin's. They went their separate ways but never stopped loving each other.

Derwin meets a new woman named Janay. Janay is wealthy and has her own business. She's dated pro athletes and knows how to handle herself and the football world. Janay and Derwin become a couple, but Derwin can't let go of his feelings for Melaine. This leads to an encounter with Melaine where both Melaine and Derwin cheat on their new significant others. Derwin and Janay end their relationship when Janay realizes that Derwin still loves Melaine. Derwin once again tries to reconcile with Melaine. At first she says no because she's in a new relationship. After a fight with Derwin and Melaine's boyfriend Jerome, Melaine breaks up with Jerome (whom had treated her quite well and was patient and understanding ) to go reconcile with Derwin. Derwin after leaving the fight, comes home to find Janay waiting for him. Janay is there to tell Derwin that she's pregnant. Derwin is still trying to process what is happening when Melaine shows up to reconcile. She is also told about the baby. Janay leaves to give them privacy to talk.

Here's where it gets messy....

Melaine starts a smear campaign on Janay. She has reunited with Derwin but she's determined to deny Janay and her baby whenever possible. She accuses her of lying about her pregnancy to saying that Derwin isn't the father. She even goes as far as trying to prove that she cheated on Derwin with another man.

Janay didn't let Melaine distract her though. She handled her with dignity and kept her distance. Janay's friends defended her, but Janay held her own. Even Derwin had to check Melaine on her behavior because it was childish and ridiculous. Melaine and Derwin eventually marry, even though Janay went into labor during their ceremony. But Melaine wasn't done....

Derwin and Janay have a son. Melaine, still being insecure and jealous, swabs their son and does a paternity test. The test comes back and says that Derwin isn't the father. Melaine tells Derwin and he goes off on Janay. But the test is wrong. Melaine gets this information, but keeps it to herself until Janay brings proof. Janay has every right to be upset. She wasn't a threat to their relationship, but now she had to do what she didn't want to do, which was to place boundaries to protect her child. She threatened child support and to go to court to keep Derwin and Melaine away from her child. This led to Derwin lying to Melaine about spending time with Janay and D.J.

Melaine finds out by a chance encounter with Janay which leads to a reveal and a fight. Janay finally plays dirty by exposing Derwin on a gossip site. Now Derwin and Janay have a stand-off. But Janay stands up for herself. She points out how she's stood by and taken it and for what? She didn't deserve to have her heartbroken or be treated like she had done something wrong. And Janay was right.

I've mentioned in past shows my experiences with my kids's father. If you ask him about me, it varies. He will say that I'm a good mom, but will also say that I'm full of drama. Sorta like how Derwin did Janay just so he could see his son without Melaine around. How do I know what was being said? Unfortunately for him, women talk. Now I've known this for years. I've confronted him for it too. This still hasn't stopped him. I also haven't stopped him from being a father to our kids.

Janay does get a happy ending. She meets a great guy who loves her and her child. He also handles her baggage with Derwin and Melaine. I can relate because I had my own happy ending too. My husband took on the role of husband and step-father all in the same day. It's definitely not easy but he's been amazing.

Ladies, be a Janay. Be respectful and nice when possible. Proverbs 31:25 "Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in the time to come."

I know it's hard, but don't be a Melaine. Don't give into your insecurities and try to tear down another woman or person. You're better than that. Trust I have issue with my ex and how he handles things. But I also have to respect him, and that's the hard part. But it's what The Most High wants. I'm not about to disrespect my Heavenly Father because I feel some sort of way.

You weren't expecting that....

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