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  • Writer's pictureStephanie Cooper

Relationships Rules 101

There are levels to this...are you ready?

There are so many books out there on relationships. There are so many people out there that can say that they have the "magic" formula to help you obtain the love of your dreams. There are people out there that will actually "target" you to say that there is someone out there for you, but take your money in the process before you even meet that one person. The world is full of dating sites, speed dating, random hook up apps...all sorts of things...just to find a relationship.I'm here to tell you...YOU DON"T NEED ANY OF THAT!

You don't need a random stranger to introduce you to another random stranger and charge you for it. You don't need to pay all sorts of dumb money to someone or to a site just to find your match. You don't need to buy every book you find on relationships just to find another bad one either. You honestly don't have to do any of that. You're absolutely wasting your time! So what I need you to do is take inventory on all that junk and get rid of it. You already have the one source that you need to find the relationship of your dreams. You've had it all along. Now instead of just going to the world with your grief of being single, I need you to stop playing and go and get your item so that we can get your prepped for your new relationship.

I'm referring to your Bible.Yes, your Bible. You know, that book that you have on the coffee table for show just to prove that you get down with Jesus every now and then. You know that book that your mom or your grandma gave you and INSIST that you read at least once or twice a year (the few times that a a few of you go to church). That same book that you only go and use when something is WRONG, but don't go to when everything is right. Yes, I'm referring to the same book. I'm going to need for you to go and get it, because I have somethings for you to refer to for your upcoming relationship. Now in order to have a successful relationship, You need to have one established with the Most High. That's no negotiable. Without Him, you wouldn't be here. He's the one whom you should be seeking, not some random stranger.

Ladies, I know that you're wanting me to tell you that He will be sending you a man, and that it's just that simple. I know you're wanting me to tell you to just read a few Bible verses, say a prayer and BOOM! meet your husband. I'm here to tell you that it's not that clear cut and dry. You have some work to do.

Relationship 101 Rule #1- Establish a daily prayer life. In order to have a successful relationship, your relationship with the Most High is the one that you MUST maintain. No man comes before him. EVER! That's actually one of the 10 commandments btw too. Talking with The Most High daily gives you the strength, and the courage to know that your mate will meet you at the time that God has in store for you. He knows exactly who that person is and when that person is ready for you. But before he will introduce you, you gotta get in good with him first. Real talk, yes it's true. No getting around it.

Active prayer life is key.

Relationship 101 Rule # 2- Establish a foundation based on the Word. 1 Peter 5:6-7 " Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. "Let him be the foundation. Let him be your Rock. When you have God as your foundation, you will have the confidence and encouragement that He gives you to wait. While your'e waiting for Him, you can establish relationships with the opposite sex and be FRIENDS. Yes I said it. FRIENDS. You can't just meet someone and have instant chemistry. I know some will argue with me and say yes, but initially that is actually lust. Lust wears off in time and if that's all you have, bye bye relationship. And you are back at square one.

Relationship 101 Rule # 3- Be patient! These changes that you are making are not going to happen overnight. Using myself as an example. It was a full 10 years before I met my now husband. I had to completely change my ways! I had to stop with the dead-end relationships. I had to stop having SEX! (Celibacy will visit at a later date.) I had to completely change the way that I was thinking about things and how I was approaching them. Your mindset has to change. You also have to be more selective in your choices. You have free will, and God will allow you to make your own decision about your dating life.

2 Cor 6: 14 " Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Meaning, even if you're doing everything right and you meet your fantasy bad boy...LEAVE HIM ALONE! He's a bad boy for a reason and you don't need to be bothered with him when you have something better in store for you. You can have the life that you imagined, but you have to start with the right things to have your happy ending.

You weren't expecting that....

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